Okay, let’s talk. There’s a buzz around this idea of “being present” and “having presence.” You’ve probably heard both thrown around like some kind of self-help soup, but what do they actually mean, especially for us glorious grown women who’ve been around long enough to know what really matters? Let’s break it down, woman-to-woman, with some no-nonsense, light-hearted truth. Ready for a mini mindset makeover?

Let’s be honest. Our generation knows a thing or two about being everywhere but here. We’re the queens of multitasking. We’ve survived dial-up internet, raised kids while holding down full-time jobs, and juggled everything from bills to broken boilers sometimes all before breakfast.

But presence? That's different. It’s more than showing up. It's how you show up.

Being Present: Easier said than done?

You know the feeling. You're mid-conversation but already thinking about what's for dinner, your to-do list, or whether you left the iron on (again). Our minds are like Netflix tabs – always running in the background.  On average, our minds wander 47% of the time. That’s basically half your life spent on auto-pilot, not really here. No wonder we forget where we put our glasses, they’re on our heads.

So, how do we fix that? Here are some quick tips:

• Breathe. Not a shallow sigh but a deep, soul-hugging breath.
• Notice five things. What can you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste?
• Put your phone down (yes, you can).
• Laugh. It's grounding. And let’s face it, most things are funnier when you’re actually paying attention.

Now, having presence? That’s your superpower.

Presence is that quiet inner confidence that doesn’t need a fanfare. It’s not about being the loudest, the flashiest or wearing the most sequins (although I’m not knocking sequins). It’s about energy.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Presence is the thing that makes people lean in when you speak. It’s walking into a room and not shrinking but also not needing to dominate. It’s being grounded in who you are.

And guess what? Women over 50 are statistically more confident than their younger selves. Why is this important for women 50+? A: Because society has (wrongly) tried to make us feel invisible. But we’re not. A UK survey found that 68% of women aged 50+ feel more comfortable in their skin now than in their 30s. We know who we are. We’ve earned our wisdom (and yes, maybe a few frown lines). That’s not just glow-up, that’s grown-up energy.

So today, take a breath. Look around. Really listen when someone speaks. Put your phone down and show up. Not just for others, but for yourself.

Presence isn’t about perfection, it’s about being real, raw, and right here.

You don’t need to be perfect – just present.

Here’s a confession: I used to think presence meant performance. I’d stand taller, speak clearer, dress sharper. And yes, those things helped… but they weren’t the magic. The magic was when I actually listened to people. When I didn’t plan my reply while they were talking. When I stayed in my body instead of spiralling in my thoughts.

So now I remind myself to show up as me. The real me. The slightly scatter-brained, overly expressive, laughing-too-loud me. And you know what? That’s enough.

Try this today

• When someone talks to you, really listen. Pretend it’s the most interesting Netflix series ever.
• Walk into a room like you own it (because you do). Shoulders back, chin up, energy high.
• Ditch the inner critic. She’s tired. Give her a nap.
• Put your phone on airplane mode from time to time. You can’t be present if you’re constantly scrolling someone else’s life
• Own your story. Confidence isn’t arrogance, it’s knowing who you are and not apologising for it.
• Make eye contact. It says, “I’m here.” And more importantly: “I see you.”
• Say less, mean more. Real presence doesn’t need a megaphone. It needs authenticity.
• Laugh. Out loud and often. It’s free therapy. And very on-brand for joyful living.
• Speak slower. Rushing isn’t powerful. Presence is calm, collected and intentional.

Being present is the difference between existing and experiencing. Being present grounds you. Having presence lifts you. Put them together? You become magnetic.

So let’s stop mentally fast-forwarding our lives. Let’s wear our age like a badge of honour and our energy like a crown.

You’re not invisible. You’re irresistible when you’re here.

Now, where did I leave my glasses…?

 Caroline’s daughter, Diahanne xxx