You know that look you get when someone says, “You’ve been through a lot”?
That mixture of pity and admiration?
That’s weathering.  Not just in the poetic sense.  It’s a real thing.

Researchers call it the physical and emotional wear-and-tear that builds up over time, especially from chronic stress, inequality, and the little daily battles life throws your way.

The late Dr. Arline Geronimus coined the term “weathering” to describe the toll that constant pressure takes on the body.

And here’s the fascinating fact: Studies show that Black women in the UK and US often experience signs of physical ageing seven years earlier than white women because of this.
Seven years.  Not because of genetics. Because of stress, bias, and simply having to be “on guard” all the time.

I don’t know about you, but when I read that, I felt a mix of rage and recognition.
Because you can feel weathering in your bones before it shows on your face.
It’s in the sigh you give when someone interrupts you (again).
It’s in the tightness of your shoulders after yet another “harmless” comment.
It’s in the way you smile even when you’re not fine, because that’s what’s expected.

But here’s the thing no statistic can measure.
Weathering isn’t just erosion.
It’s also shaping. It carves out who we are.
It makes us solid. Rooted.  Resilient in a way you can’t fake.

I’ve learned to check in with myself when the storms come.
Sometimes that means saying no.
Sometimes it means saying nothing at all and letting the silence do the talking.
Sometimes it’s about surrounding myself with people who refill my cup instead of draining it.

Maya Angelou once said, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
That’s the balance.
Weathering will change you.
But you can choose the shape it takes.

So ladies: Where have you felt the weathering most in your life? Here are some practical weathering survival tips that always work for me:

1. Rest Without Guilt

Sleep is your body’s repair time.
It’s not “lazy,” it’s survival.
Give yourself permission to nap, go to bed early, or take a weekend off.

2. Nourish Like You Mean It

Your body can’t fight chronic stress if it’s running on fumes.
That means real food. Colourful plates. Omega-3s. Plenty of water.

3. Move the Stress Out

Exercise isn’t just about fitness.
It’s how your body burns off stress hormones.
Dance in your kitchen. Walk like you own the pavement. Stretch before bed.
Small, consistent movement is better than occasional punishment workouts.

4. Build Your “Safe Space” Circle

Weathering happens faster when you have to keep your guard up.
Find the people you can fully exhale around.
Friends, family, a group chat that’s pure joy.
Your nervous system will thank you.

5. Speak Up, Even in Small Ways

Microaggressions and constant bias feed weathering.
You don’t have to fight every battle, but silence has a cost.
Sometimes saying, “I don’t appreciate that” is an act of self-care.

6. Mind Your Mind

Meditation, journaling, therapy, whatever clears the mental clutter.
Even five minutes a day can help lower stress markers in your body.

7. Plan Joy on Purpose

Don’t just wait for the good moments, schedule them.
Book the trip. Put the concert in your diary.
Joy is medicine, and you deserve the full dose.

8. Check Your Health Like You Check Your Phone

Routine check-ups, blood pressure, and hormone levels are especially important for Black and brown women, who are often underdiagnosed.
Knowing your numbers means catching problems early.

We can’t stop the wind and waves.
But we can stand tall in the storm. And when the clouds clear? We’ll be here. Still standing.
Still beautiful. And more ourselves than ever.

Caroline’s daughter, Diahanne x